Take Back Control from Fear

Take Back Control from Fear

“My friend, a lymphoma survivor, and her husband told me they would do all the research for me so I didn't have to go down the scary rabbit hole. I needed to keep my head in a positive space .” - Daniella

Does this sound familiar? Fear wants to grab hold and hang on when walking the breast cancer journey. It's one of the biggest robbers of fruitful and quality time, a drainer of emotional energy, and a liar.

Let's look at 5 things you can do to kick out this intruder:

1. Realize that Information is just information - neutral until we respond to it.

Survival rates are a report of what happened to someone else. Don't focus there regardless of the stage of your cancer. Statistics may say you have a 99% chance of beating this, or the opposite. Either way, your heart and mind are the battle ground. Take back control by training your mind to go elsewhere. 

You can't win by "trying not to think about it." Rather, replace scary thoughts with God's Word, start singing an uplifting or favorite song, have some encouraging quotes on hand that you have curated for just this time.

Let your mind go to things you can be thankful for. If your cancer was caught on a mammogram, be thankful that technology exists to find things you wouldn't have known about for perhaps months or even years. You get the idea.

2. Use information correctly.

Information helps you understand your situation and that is important. You can't form strategy until you know as much about the enemy as possible. If this is going to be an uphill battle, good or bad, it's better to know that. From there you can plan. Planning does not mean you concede to the enemy. It means you are smart and preparing for whatever is around the corner. 

When you buy auto insurance, you don't intend to use it. But it's there for the unexpected. 

3. Allow trusted friends into your space. 

If your friends want to help you research, invite them into the journey. Your circumstances impact them also, and allowing them into your pain helps them sort out their own journey. This is not an invitation to every friend, but to those you trust in your now. 

4. Cultivate new interests.

Yes, that's right! This is not the time to start a new diet or exercise program (both are important but starting a new program in the middle of cancer treatment is not advised), but tap into your creative side. We all have a streak of creativity and this is a great time to start blogging, journaling, painting, or reading topics far afield from cancer. 

5. Welcome the tears.

Crying can be a big stress reliever, especially for women. It's part of the processing and sorting through this season. There is a balance. It shouldn't be every day for months. But it also shouldn't be pushed aside while you try heroically to hold it in for those loved ones around you. ​

Note for the men: let your loved one cry. It may not be the way you process life, but she needs several good cries to get through this. Don't try to fix things or offer solutions. Just be loving arms and maybe no words.